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Submitted on
February 13
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Ok, so this one I really like. This one will definitely be revisited, so any and all comments as to its improvement would be greatly appreciated. Especially that title, cuz it's the worst.

Written for this week's :icona-year-of-writing: prompt: Loss.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-03-03
In Into the Grave, Halatia turns a true story into something we can all relate to. ( Featured by neurotype )
:iconsnowysylva:
snowysylva Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a lovely emotional piece. I like the inclusion of doing what he would have done - gives a little extra characterization that adds that much more the feeling. Well done!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014   Writer
Featured here fav.me/d7cujk8
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
mhm - the title is a little issue in the sense... well it gives off a different feel. Having said that, it is up to the reader after all. Many might be expecting an emotional piece. I was expecting more of a 'horror' one.

The work is nice and balanced. There is a certain lack of emotion in the middle but I didn't find it that disturbing. Why? The writing was believable. I could imagine a person doing so, moving the grass, trying to locate the grave. Plus, too many works go on to reminiscing and making people cry so as I said before - this was balanced. However, I DO feel that after you finally found the grave, there should be a slight addition to what you felt or at least a little more than just recalling the name you called him by. It feels like you quickly moved from the grave - even adding something like expecting sorrow to take over, yet wondering why it isn't, wondering if it is wrong for him to stand there and not weep - adding something like that may make it better in my opinion.

The ending however was well worded (with the only issue that he suddenly felt very fear yet it stated as if he was fearful all along - sorry if that is hard to explain). The ending lines described a beautiful moment.

Congratulations on the DD!
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
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:iconishraki:
ishraki Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I understand when a work of art is good when my extrasensory senses start kicking in. I read through this short memory and it felt well written all through though when I got to the line regarding the hand written sign, it transformed into a cautionary preparation. the word Dzia, startted the chill and the last line continued that shiver down my spine. thank you for sharing this beautiful humble piece of mind.
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:iconc-a-harland:
C-A-Harland Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Student Writer
Beautifully written and very poignant.

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:iconyaoi4eva666:
yaoi4eva666 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm crying right now ; v ;
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:iconsurrealcachinnation:
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014   Writer
Beautiful.  I'm truly speechless.
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:icondanielleivanova:
DanielleIvanova Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really appreciated the descriptions, they were incredibly lifelike and suitable to the mood. The ending isn't very original but it's powerful nonetheless. It did stir me :nod:
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